In order to understand to love or even to care you first must love and care for self. If you love someone then in your statements ,if challenged, there should be reassure of that love. Becoming offensive and passive aggressive usually means (and I'm saying usually) That the person has an agenda to maintain in fear of losing what they desire from someone. There is no love there is only a fixation. When your love is challenged You respond the way you feel at the moment. I cant say you that you are wrong for feeling the way you feel. But i can say you will tend to misjudge your response and the effect it will take on the dialog with whom has challenged that love. Being jealous and possessive is not love. When ever there is a question of your intention and you become offensive is not caring. If i love someone selfish is not of part of what i give. If i love you i show in my statements and actions unselfishness. You must understand why you love and be able to express it thru actions a